HALLOWEEN HORRORSCOPES


Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb 18)

Michael Myers from Halloween

Temperamental, stoic, hates broken promises? Michael Myers is most definitely an Aquarius. The whole reason he starts killing in the first place is because he feels his older sister has betrayed his family by spending time with her boyfriend. Then, stuck in a mental institution, his loneliness drives him further into insanity. If an Aquarius were to snap, this would be how.

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street

Not gonna lie, the similarities between a Pisces and Freddy Krueger are so accurate they kinda freak me out. A need to escape reality, a passion with which they make their art. This could be the girl in art class who loves Tumblr, but if that good girl went bad, she'd for sure be killing you in your dreams.

Aires (March 21 - April 19)

Chucky from Child’s Play

Chucky is short-tempered, moody and unpredictable. The fiery and savage way he commits his murders can't help but remind me of Aries. The impulsive and enthusiastic ways he goes about it sets that in stone.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre

There’s just something about Leatherface chasing me with a saw that screams Taurus. If a Taurus were to go insane, it would be in a practical, immediate way. In Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the villain get straight to te killin’, losing all sense of a Taurus’ stability and simply going for the gore.

Gemini(May 21 - June 20)

Kevin Wendell Crumb from Split

This one is pretty self explanatory. A Gemini is already two-faced. If they were to crack, they'd probably gain a few more sides. Or in Split's case, 23. Wow, I hate Geminis.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Norman Bates from Psycho

Norman Bates from Psycho. Cancers have all the nurturing, loyal qualities of Norman Bates with a boatload of mommy issues to match. Cancers are also the most secretive of the zodiacs, valuing their privacy above all else. Norman kept a couple things to himself, didn’t he?

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

Pennywise from It

Just as a Leo has a flare for the dramatic, so does Pennywise. The bright colors, constant illusions and need to be acknowledged all point toward a Leo having an emotional breakdown.

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

Saw from Jigsaw

Saw. Testing constantly, temperamental, aloof, original, uncompromising,

In my mind, a mad Virgo looks just like Saw. No other sign would set such detailed, intrinsic traps for their prey. The sense of moral authority that Saw has to put those with vices in traps hoping for them to escape spells Virgo. Technically, Saw never killed anyone. He just wanted to see how hard one would try to live.

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

Ghostface from Scream

Only a true people person could keep you on the phone while they discuss your impending doom. And, as we all know, Libras always survive the horror movie, just as Ghostface has survived all the attempts on his/her life yet keeps coming back.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs

A charming sociopath who is hard to read, skillfully-deceptive and passionate about his work? Yep, Hannibal Lecter is a Scorpio. His knack for painting makes him multitalented, and his loyalty and brave defense of all his loved ones means that if you insult one of them, you're dead. What screams Scorpio more than calm and cool on the outside with an bit of mysterious psycho killer on the inside?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

Jack Torrence from The Shining

From the start, Jack's a very sympathetic character. He's idealistic, with a great desire to be a good father, husband, writer. Just like a Sagittarius, Jack promises more than he can deliver, and just like his zodiac, he can't stand the constraints of those promises. A Sagittarius needs their freedom, just like Jack had to kill. And just like Jack, you'll sympathize with a Sagittarius up until the end.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

Patrick Bateman from American Psycho

Patrick Bateman, a responsible, disciplined Wall Street persona obsessed with preserving his lavish lifestyle. If that doesn't prove to you he's a Capricorn, Bateman's a condescending, contemptible person who kills men and women alike and carries out salacious crimes. Well, Capricorns hate almost everything at some point.

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